I've won a prize*

As it's been a while (2007), I've decided it was about time Angry Since 1967 won another award. So the Professor Stanley Unwin Prize was born. This award is designed to recognise clarity of thought, clearly articulated in plain English. It is also a way of acknowledging the contribution any blog called "Angry Since 1967" has made to the overall "blogosphere". In setting these august goals, naming the award in honour of an individual renowned for their incomprehensibility, seems not only right, but entirely appropriate. The selection panel, made up of me, thought long and hard about of which the many deserving blogs should win this auspicious prize. It quickly became clear only one filled the key criterion of being called "Angry Since 1967". This fact, taken together with the actual content which largely consists of a baffling mix of incoherent sentence construction, barely comprehensible ranting and randomly scattered punctuation means Angry Since 1967 was the obvious choice. I mean read back that last sentence. It's horribouncy incobobblybole.  

*I actually have. I won a Budvar branded memory stick and a fleece. Let the festivities commence! 

Is the Fat Nipper Singing?

There have been a few occasions when I've thought that being, or seemingly at least, proved right is of little consolation. The news released today of HMV's spiralling sales decline suggests, sadly, they are facing the abyss. I want to make one thing absolutely clear. I don't want HMV to go bust, I don't want them to vanish off the High Street, but it looks like that is now a distinct possibility. As I've said before HMV doesn't know what it is any more. Music shop? Clothes Shop? Games Shop? Electronics store (I was in one the other day and they were selling headphones for £269.99. HMV trying to sell headphones at £269.99? Have they taken leave of their senses?) or a DVD Shop. As I said here "rather than work out what they do and what they are for, they, like a three year old with some fuzzy felt, are throwing things in the hope what sticks makes a nice picture."  

Things look grim. And while a turnaround is always possible, it's difficult to see where it is coming from. Perhaps a return to what they used to do might work, although unfortunately I suspect it might already be too late.  

 

A Week Without Mp3....Believe In Better. Or Closed.

Last October I blogged here about Sky Songs, a download / streaming service Sky had started. It seems my scepticism was well judged, as according to the BBC, it will be closing down in February. And here is the thing. As far as I can tell this a rare example of Sky getting something completely wrong. Their entire business model is predicated on consumers paying for third party content they deliver from within a paywall. Sky are many things, most of them not very appealing, but they do know how to run a subscription service. That they couldn't make this work sends a very clear message - streamed music services simply aren't viable, as consumers simply will not pay for them. How Spotify react to this is going to be very interesting. 

Meanwhile here is some "more" music

Angry Since 1967 Announces The Perpetual List Of Bands To Hear Next Year

Fifteen entirely invented bands and singers have been named amongst Angry Since 1967s Perpetual List Of Bands To Hear Next Year.

The up-and-coming artists on this year's longlist range from "A Bit 80s Sounding", "We Sound Exactly The Same As An Old Band We Think No-One Remembers" to pop artists "Depressingly Predictable", "If This Doesn't Work I'll Be A Comedian Next. Or An Actor" and dance band "Clichéd, Aul Crap, Cached As A New Dance Sub-Genre".
 
"Bleeding-Edge, Ultra Kewl, Game Changing Producer Whose Name We Can't Say Without Simultaneously Climaxing. Forgotten Next Week", "Angst-y Singer Song Writer (Female)" and "Angst-y Singer Song Writer (Male)" also feature.
 
"Exotic Foreigner" and "Not Very Good, But Jesus! What A Tragic Back Story" have been backed for success after we decided that straddling them with suitably emotional and tragic back story, complete with a montage of black and white archive footage accompanied by an acoustic version of some nondescript Snow Patrol track would add to their appeal. Honestly? I cried my lamps out. "A Blatant Clone Of A Currently Successful Artist" and "We'll Be Successful This Time. Promise" have also selected for success. Amongst the others are the runts of the litter "Box Ticked", "Something Faintly World Music-y" and "Token Nod To Metal" appearing just to make the numbers up, and as a vague acknowledgement that 97% of the good music currently produced doesn't fit into the neat little boxes the mainstream media thinks it should.
 
The "taste-maker" behind this selection AS 1967, is a producer*, TV presenter**, newspaper critic***, magazine editor**** and a respected blogger*****. He claimed, after being asked to make up some completely fictional bands, "I'm so fucking cool, which is the point. Isn't it? I mean it's not about the music, it's about me proving I have my finger on the pulse. That I'm down with the kids. I mean, even if these bands did exist, what they sound like isn't as important as the image I, and the rest of the people selected for this are trying to portray"
 
When the top five is announced, as none of the bands exist, they won't be featured on the Angry Since website, nor will there be any broadcast sessions or interviews with any of the winners. Or rather there will. As, in the broadest sense, these identikit bands are real. You know that given the narrow, predictable and pedestrian range of music from which all these so called "experts" select never varies, the outcome is inevitable. Nothing challenging. Nothing different. Nothing beyond a safe facsimile of what has gone before. Unending mediocrity lauded with feigned quasi-critical acclaim. 

Next year this will be rebranded the "Whoop-De-Fucking-Do" list, in an attempt to more accurately reflect the levels of excitement and anticipation the announcement generates. 

The Complete List.

• "A Bit 80s Sounding"
• "We Sound Exactly The Same As An Old Band We Think No-One Remembers"  
• "Depressingly Predictable"
• "If This Doesn't Work I'll Be A Comedian Next. Or An Actor" 
• "Clichéd, Aul Crap, Cached As A New Dance Sub-Genre"
• "Bleeding-Edge, Ultra Kewl, Game Changing Producer Whose Name We Can't Say Without Simultaneously Climaxing. Forgotten Next Week" 
• "Angst-y Singer Song Writer (Female)" 
• "Angst-y Singer Song Writer (Male)" 
• "Exotic Foreigner" 
• "Not Very Good, But Jesus! What A Tragic Back Story"  
• "A Blatant Clone Of A Currently Successful Artist"
• "We'll Be Successful This Time. Promise" 
• "Box Ticked"
• "Something Faintly World Music-y" 
• "Token Nod To Metal" 

The final result is expected in January, then repeated verbatim every year until the end of time.
 
*I stood behind a camera in 1990 directing traffic while an acquaintance videoed a concert.
**Appeared on Romper Room in the early 1970s.
***Slagged off TV programmes in a student newspaper many years ago.
****Cut photos out of football magazines in the 1970s
*****If you've read any of this blog, that should be self evident.  

Welcome to Fear. Part Three

And another one. 
Death by Sunday roast